I was fretting about what to wear to the ball this year, until eBay, like a kindly yet weirdly suspicious fairy godmother clad in a never-washed genuine Art Nouveau polyester leisure suit previously owned by a hirsute chain-smoker, offered up a solution to my problem.
These cowgirl earrings make me feel funny…
Apparently, I need to visit Harbor Freight right now!
…and begged me to tell the world.
Don’t worry, I’m choking up a little, too.
(Traditional?) wild turkey dance, updated for modern audiences with music by Rihanna.
Words & phrases I’ve learned to appreciate . . . and others I’ve learned to hate.
This joke still makes me laugh every time I read it, and when I try to tell it I usually start laughing so hard I can’t deliver the punch line properly.